Are You Putting Off Your Retirement For Your Grown Children?

9 Year Mortgage on the Effects Adult Children Have on Parents Retirement Funds

9 Year Mortgage is becoming increasingly aware of the unfortunate trend of grown children relying on their parents for financial support. The unfortunate part of grown children relying on their parents for financing is due to the fact that it is ruining their parents chance for retiring or their retirement funds. Between helping your children with mortgages, rent, child care, gifting or allowing them to live at your home, you are jeopardizing your opportunity for a successful retirement and 9 Year Mortgage will show you how.

The Analogy

We’ve all heard a flight attendant say before take-off  “If you are traveling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your mask first, and then assist the other person.” Why do you suppose they make this a major point on every flight? 9 Year Mortgage believes that in time of crisis it is a very unnatural thing to do, especially as a parent. As a parent it would be incredibly difficult and emotional to assist yourself first when your child is in a dangerous situation as well. However, in order to assist your child in such an occurrence as a plane losing elevation, you have to be conscious; meaning you need to have your mask on in order help your child for longer than a couple minutes. 9 Year Mortgage suggests that this scenario is not only applicable while on a plane, but when safely on the ground and your children are struggling financially and come to you for help.

This analogy is true in most instances as a parent; you would sacrifice any number of things if it meant it would help your child, even if it means you will be hurt. Helping a child with their finances fits perfectly into this category and it is proven that parents are indeed injuring themselves to help their children financially. Many parents are filing for bankruptcy after aiding their grown children with a sticky situation–finding themselves now under worse circumstances than their children–but 9 Year Mortgage asks, who do you turn to once you find yourself in this situation? The banks and lending companies will be little help, if any at all. You will find yourself with significantly depleted savings, if any, new debt, and even additional mortgage payments. As you are getting close to the age of retirement, these new financial burdens are not something you want to think about. 9 Year Mortgage suggests that in order to help your children with their finances, you must first have your finances in order and have some to spare; if not, you will not be helping your child or yourselves.

9 Year Mortgage Addresses the Causes of Independent Grown Children Relying on Their Parents

Cause 1: Did you know that 69% of parents provide some sort of financial help for their grown children? Out of this nearly 70% of the nation, 50% help their adult children with their living expenses, 40% provided financial assistance with transportation, while another 30% give their adult children spending money regularly. This means that only 3 out of 10 readers are giving their personal finances their utmost attention, and not putting off their own future for their adult children’s mishaps. So what is causing adult children turn to their parents for financial support? 9 Year Mortgage believes the economic state is a big factor in this case. American people are no strangers to hard times, lack of jobs, poor pay, and debt. It seems like a no-brainer that as an adult, if you are having a hard time with finances that you should turn to someone you trust–not a bank. Parents are a reasonable solution, knowing that they are always there for you and will help you in any way they can. This has proven itself to be true, as we see 70% of parents supporting their children. Sure, moving back to a parents home will allow a grown child to cut expenses and perhaps provide additional time and money to pursue a higher education, and in turn get a better job; but it will also add extra pressure to the parents, who we are sure are not as financially stable as a child thinks.

Cause 2: 9 Year Mortgage also acknowledges the ever changing family structure here in America. Back in the olden days9 Year Mortgage - Economically Dependent Children sure, an adult child or newly married couple would move next door into a house that shared land and a garden with their parents. However, their job was to tend the land, raise crops, mend what needed to be mended, and sell their gains–there was no free-loafing back then. Even as time evolved, individuals who were of age were expected to leave home, get an education, get married, and raise and take care of their family on their own. Nowadays we find young adults thinking a college education is useless, marriage as thing of the far future, and moving out of their parents home a thing to do when they want. Parents are supportive of their children’s activities all through childhood–paying for lessons, giving allowances, buying them cars, taking elaborate vacations and providing money whenever necessary. How to raise a child is solely up to the parents, and there seems to be no specific guidelines; however, 9 Year Mortgage is seeing such treatment resulting in grown young adults expecting the same treatment throughout their adulthood.

Cause 3: Depending on how many children you have, one could spend 20 to 30 years or more raising children. When your 10 year old comes to you after falling off a bike and scratching their knee–you fixed it. When the dance class or baseball team fund-raised money through selling candy bars; your child didn’t sell all of his or hers and you fixed the problem by paying the difference. When your 16 year old took the car out for the first time, you sat there worrying and waiting (dreading) a phone call from them or a police officer; a year later it comes and you met your child at the scene of the accident and reassured them everything was OK because they were safe, and everything else could be fixed. It is a natural instinct of a parent to want to help and fix any pain, worries, or troubles a child has. Regardless of age, your children are still your children and that worry never seems to cease. When your adult child comes to you asking for help, it actually feels nice to be needed by them again and many parents tend to cave into their demands, even if it means putting off their own well-being. Every parent will one day be faced with such a situation where they have to decide to hold on or move on. Hold on to the need to be needed or move on to the future, including retirement. 9 Year Mortgage reminds you that although helping an adult child with their finances may seem fulfilling it may also simultaneously drain your finances.

9 Year Mortgage Offers Solutions for Parents Who Have Adult Children Who Depend on Them for Financing

Financially supporting your adult children truly does effect your financial future; Nearly 10% of parents have to delay their retirement because of this. In addition to this, 26% of parents end up taking on additional debt to support their grown children, where one out of 10 had to delay a major life event because of it. Whether you allow your grown child to get some of your finances because you are very concerned for their financial well-being, you don’t want them to struggle as you once did, you feel guilty or obligated, or you think you truly can afford it, 9 Year Mortgage says don’t! At least not until you have sat down with your spouse and/or child and discuss terms to your financial support. Before helping a child, 9 Year Mortgage highly suggests that you  carefully go over your finances to make sure you will not be hurting your own plans if you decide to help a child with finances. We even suggest that you go to your financial adviser to discuss different options that are available to you. If you are thinking of using a significant amount of money for assisting a child, then your financial adviser can help you determine how much, if any, you can afford to give to the cause. 9 Year Mortgage has provided the following four tips which have proven to be the most successful  for parents in this situation.

1. First try providing non-financial support: If your grown child finds themselves in a financial bind try to provide non-financial support before you start to spend a fortune. Refer your child to job-hunting sites or friends who have openings, give them emotional support through their turbulent times, and if all else fails allow them to live at home for a set amount of time. You may even think about charging a small amount for rent and utilities or have them help with the grocery bill. By doing so, they will not be spending nearly as much and they will still have responsibilities to tend to.

9 Year Mortgage - Family Financial Planning

2. Create a plan, both parents and child: 9 Year Mortgage suggests that before any money has been given or a room provided, that you, your significant other, and child sit down to determine a plan. Set time limits, mini goals, and rules: an example might be that if the child is out of work, they must submit 5 resumes a day to different employers if they want your help. Discuss how long they plan on needing your assistance and how long your willing to give it, if and how much rent they plan to pay,  or require weekly meetings to discuss the steps they have taken to become financially independent. Without a set plan and requirements, you and your significant other may find yourselves providing financial assistance much longer than you planned and are able to.

3. Budget for the support you have planned to give: This is not just limited to times when your grown children are in financial trouble. Some parents may wish to pay for part or all of their child’s college education. If this is the case, you need to start early and create a budget for college funds but also for your retirement. If your children are further along in their lives and need your assistance, 9 Year Mortgage can not stress enough that you need to be secure with your retirement funds before you can give aid to your children. Remember that you need to take care of your today in order to take care of their tomorrow.

4. Teach your kids about money: If you are a younger parent or yet to be one, this may be the most effective lesson you can teach your children. When your kids are young, 9 Year Mortgage encourages you to teach your children about money. For tips on how to accomplish this challenging task, read another 9 Year Mortgage article titled Teaching Your Kids to Manage Their Money. By teaching your children the importance of saving for future events, such as their college education, they will not only learn the principles of savings and the importance of back-up funds but they’ll  also learn the value of a higher education. One of the best ways to teach your children is by example. Do not spend your money recklessly, bring a lunch to work, and make trips to fast-food chains a treat or reward. By example and numerous conversations, your children may be lucky enough to learn their lessons early on in life, rather than when they have a family depending on them.

Wrapping it up with 9 Year Mortgage

There is nothing easy about growing up, as we all know. In such unstable times and with a shaky economy it seems as if things will never turn for the better.Your grown children are not the only ones who are in financial trouble, many parents are too. 9 Year Mortgage knows that planning for the worst is the only way to be prepared for the future, even if that means you have to save double because you won’t be receiving social security when you retire or for unpredicted health issues as you age. If you are not on the path to being financially secure then helping a wayward grown child will not help you get on that path. Even though it is hard not to help pay for your child’s mortgage that is two months behind, give extra money for car repairs or for when they have to use a credit card for this months groceries because their income was cut, you must remember that you too had some rough patches in your early years. With minimal assistance and an abundant amount of emotional and moral support, your children can make it through their hard time if they can be smart with the money they have. If financial assistance is necessary, make sure to create a plan and budget with your grown child; by doing so it will ensure that your child is back on his or her way to financial independence.

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Comments on Are You Putting Off Your Retirement For Your Grown Children? Leave a Comment

August 5, 2011

Matt @ 10:12 pm #

Thanks for the article. My wife and I will have to sit down and talk about our kids and what’s going on financially. I’m not looking forward to it. We have a 30 year old son that is still living at home and is mainly depending on us financially. Feel free to comment if you have any advice on how we handle that…

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